We make products that are exactly what they say they are, and nothing more. So far that means a book with nothing in it and an app that does nothing. There is more coming, and it will also be nothing much.
Each one is named after precisely what it is. If you can read the name, you already know everything.
There are no chapters. No plot. No lessons. No twist at the end. One hundred and twenty pages, and one hundred and seventeen of them are completely empty.
It is a very good notebook pretending to be a very bad book — 6 × 9 inches, matte cover, and on a shelf it looks exactly like a serious literary work. Nobody has to know it is empty until they open it.
Paperback · 120 pages · 6 × 9 in · ships worldwide, print-on-demand.
The title is printed near-black on black. In a photograph it disappears entirely. Under a lamp, at the right angle, it comes back — the way a blind-debossed cover does, except this one costs nothing extra to print, which is very much in keeping.
Five hundred copies. Each hand-numbered on the back in pen, by a person, badly.
When they are gone they are gone. The standard editions stay in print forever, because print-on-demand has no concept of scarcity and never will. That contrast is the entire argument for owning this one.
It is the only version where the joke is complete: nothing inside, and nothing outside.
500 of 500 remaining.
Chapter 4 destroyed me. The restraint. The silence. I had to put it down and go for a walk.
VERIFIED PURCHASERead it cover to cover in eleven seconds. Immediately read it again. Got even more out of it the second time.
VERIFIED PURCHASEThe ending came out of nowhere. Did not see it coming, because there was nothing there.
VERIFIED PURCHASEDocking one star because page 61 felt slightly derivative of page 60.
VERIFIED PURCHASEBought it as a joke. Now it's my journal. The joke is on me and I'm fine with it.
VERIFIED PURCHASEFinally, a book that respects my time.
VERIFIED PURCHASEBought one? Review the plot and tag #JustBuyThe. Best fictional chapter analysis gets reposted.
It has one button. Pressing it confirms that nothing has happened. It keeps a count of how many times you have confirmed this, which is the only feature and is arguably a bug.
It works offline, because there is nothing to load. It requests no permissions, because there is nothing to permit. It collects no data, because there is nothing to collect.
It installs to your home screen from the browser — no app store, no review queue, no update that adds features you did not ask for. Open it, tap the share icon, choose Add to Home Screen.
It is free. Charging for it felt like it would be pushing our luck.
Works on iOS, Android and desktop. Nothing to download from a store.
Every product is a test of the same idea: that you can sell something honestly, describe it exactly, and have people buy it anyway — possibly because of it.
Both, and the order matters. The products are real, printed, shipped and refundable. The joke is that they are exactly what they claim, which turns out to be unusual enough to be funny.
Page 1 is a title page, page 2 is the copyright notice, page 3 is a short note from the publisher. Pages 4 through 120 — one hundred and seventeen of them — are entirely blank. There is no invisible ink.
The cover is printed near-black on black, so the title is essentially invisible in a photograph and only appears in raking light. It is hand-numbered on the back and limited to 500 copies, after which it will not be reprinted. The inside is identical to every other edition, which is to say: empty.
It really does nothing. It has a button, the button does nothing, and the app tells you that nothing has happened. Everything else about it — offline support, home-screen install, no tracking — exists only because doing nothing well still takes a small amount of engineering.
Printing, shipping, the platform's cut, and the rest is margin — the same as any other shop. We are not raising funds for anything and we are not asking you to support a cause. You are buying a product at a stated price.
A scam requires a false promise. Every page here states plainly that the products contain nothing. You would struggle to find a more thoroughly disclosed purchase.
A blank poster, a t-shirt that describes itself, and a zero-byte file. After that we will see what else can be sold entirely honestly. Suggestions are welcome and most of them will be too clever, which is the usual failure mode.